Through The Eyes of Remus Lupin
by III Candy Cane Child III
Summary: Exactly, how did Lupin get his job in Hogwarts? Why was he in the Hogwarts Express in the first place? What was his reaction in seeing Harry for the first time? If you read this story, perhaps these questions will be answered. (written in Lupin's POV) UPD
1. Chapter 1: I Need Help

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or make any profits from this fan fiction.

Summary: Exactly, how did Lupin get his job in Hogwarts? Why was he in the Hogwarts Express in the first place? What was his reaction in seeing Harry for the first time? If you read this story, perhaps these questions will be answered. (written in Lupin's POV)

Please note that this is FICTION and not REALITY. If what is written in this story does not match up with the actual events in the book, bear in mind this is FICTION. Thank you

-Candy Can3 Child

Through The Eyes of Remus Lupin

Chapter 1: I Need Help

I should be used to the fact that most people won't be so accepting of me, but why do I still get pained when people turn their nose up at me? Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I had three good and trusting friends when I was in school. I felt so secure and confident that nobody would care what I was as long as I was with them...Why am I still lingering on with _them_? My days as a Marauder are over, but try as I might to turn away from them, I still can't help thinking if things would be different if Peter never was such a weakling...

I look up at the bleeding London sky, yet another fruitless day passes by. All the goals I set up in my mind-find a job, get new robes, find a stable place to live in- to complete by the end of the day, not even one of them got accomplished. Well, perhaps I did find a stable place to live in. The Inn Keeper from the Leaky Cauldron has been nice enough to lend me a room, even if I haven't the money to pay him back. " Pay me later." He told me. Later...later, I'm afraid, will be a long time to come. After all, who would want to hire a half breed like me? A werewolf, who's prone to bite anyone?

Not knowing what to do, and since the day is over, I decide to go to bed. What went wrong in my previous job? I had a good job in the book shop near my childhood home. Perhaps I spent more time reading the books rather than selling them. Or perhaps...perhaps the owner decided to let me go because of my condition. The book shop was a good business, bringing in good money, but once I entered the income went down. My condition probably leaked out to the public, and the villigars felt safer to buy books at another place that didn't employ werewolves. So he fired me. Then I decided to leave to London to find another job, a new life even! Erase the black board and start over. But how can I , anyone in fact, erase a dark history like mine? A history that consists of watching two of your best friends die and one of them going to prison because of a murder.

Pretty soon thoughts began to blend in to each other that they formed a jumbled up dream. Each piece played off another piece, forming a big jigsaw puzzle with no form. I was alone, isolated from all people. " You're too dangerous. Too dangerous. You'll bite one of us." A fussy old witch told me. I have thoughts of a six year old child. I found myself yearning for my mother. " Mother, why are you letting these people treat me this way? Can't you help me? " I ask to a sad looking woman with long brown hair. She simply stared at me. Then she changed into a man with a big nose resembling a hawk's beak. " Keep away from us, we don't want you here!" He yelled at me. Then a taller man looked at me kindly and said, " If you need help, come to me."

The yellow light of the sun streams into my room, waking me up. To anyone, this would be a good way to wake up. To me, this is just the sign of a new day full of doors being slammed at my face. I go downstairs to the bar where I decide to order a bottle of Butter Beer.

" Put it on my tab." I say to the bartender. He nods and gives me the bottle. While I drink it, I decide to read The Daily Prophet. Normally, I don't take much interest in reading the whole newspaper, I usually skip to the job listings. Today though, an article titled: " Ministry Of Magic Employee Scoops Grand Prize" held my attention. I read the article, turned out Arthur Weasley, a ministry employee won the grand prize galleon draw. I feel rather jealous, I could use some of the money myself. The picture that accompanied the article had a family of nine people, all smiling and waving. I smile sadly, I once took a picture that had people smiling in it. Unfortunatley, most people in the picture I took part in are in a bad state nowadays. I stare at the big clock on the wall, 11:35 it reads. If I want to find a job today, I better get going. I take the Prophet with me and go upstairs. I read the job listings... " WANTED: ASSISTANT TO SCRUB CLEAN CAULDRONS! CONTACT LEWIS GREGORY AT ROSE BUILDING # 13" I take this job in consideration, scrubbing cauldrons means no human contact

I decide the cauldron cleaning job is the my best bet. I change my robes into some not so old black robes and make my way to Diagon Alley. The streets are crowded, as usual, as I wind my way down to the shops. There's a store with a sign that reads: " Help Wanted". I decide to go in, not even bothering to notice what store it was. The minute I enter, I feel as if I might not have a chance. The store is a Quiditch store, full of teenage wizards working at the cash registers. There's a man around his 40's and he's talking to a girl with bright purple hair. I figure he's the manager of the place. I wait around, looking at a new broom called the FireBolt. The price is beyond what I could ever afford, but staring at it reminds me of James. James...possibly the only athletic one in our little Marauder Group. If he could only see this broom....he'd probably buy it the minute he set his eyes on it. I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turn around and see the 40 year old wizard. " Buying that broom?" he asks me.

" No, just looking." I reply.

" Well if you're not buyin' get out." He says. I obey him and keep walking around the streets. I stop at a store dedicated to astrology and astronomy. Outside the store's a sundial. It's 1 pm already! I went back to the Leaky Cauldron to have my lunch. I order a cold sandwich. While waiting, I get a new copy of the Daily Prophet. I skim through it, going back to the job listings. Then, as if it just apeared, I notice an ever so small article.

" Hogwarts's Head Master, Albus Dumbledor Seeks New Teacher"

Albus Dumbledor has declared an opening for a teacher. The class open is Defense Against the Dark Arts. Anyone who's interested, with some knowledge about the Dark Arts, please send a letter to Albus Dumbledor."

I read it and read it, trying to make sure the words were there.The job is perfect for me! When I worked in the book store all I read was books on the Dark Arts. Then I remembered the last words Dumbledor said to me, " If you ever need help, come to me." I never did consider for his help. I wanted to prove to myself I could make it out on my own, but seeing that failed, I decide to write Dumbledor a letter.

I never did find a better tasting sandwich than the one I ate on that day...

So that was chapter one. I hoped you liked it. If you feel the need to flame me, go ahead and do so. If you want to point anything wrong, be my guest. If you want to review or leave any thoughts, you are welcome. Even anon. readers. Thank you.

Candy Can3Child :)


	2. Chapter 2: Ghosts of the Past

Dislcaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor am making profits

Author's Note: I wrote this during spanish class (most of my writings come from spanish class...read my other story to get my drift ;) ) Well...it's kinda short. Mostly just Lupin reminising. But I like how it turned out. So...on with the chapter! ghetto heroic music

Chapter Two: Ghosts of the Past

I'm sitting on a chair in the Leaky Caulderon. It's been three days since I've sent the owl to Dumbledore. I'm rather worried, he trusted me before, but I broke his trust. What if he doesn't trust me for this job? I won't be too surprised if I don't get the job. In fact, I probably don't deserve a job as a teacher.

I look out the window, wondering if I'll ever be able to start over. I decide to read the newspaper next to me. It's from yesterday, but what do I care? It's not as important as what I find on the front page. I feel a wave of guilt wash over me as I stare into Sirius Black's face. I tried to block it out of my mind that he had been sent to Azkaban...but looking at this picture brought back so many memories. He always was the clever one in the group, though he was out of control at times. I should've been able to control him. In fact, it was my job. If I just said "No" and put my foot down then maybe he wouldn't have ended up in Azkaban. Maybe, Peter would still be alive. At least then, I wouldn't be so lonely all the time. The headline. He escaped from there when it has never been atempted. I let a small chuckle escape from me, he always was on top of the game.

His dull eyes blink at me. Once, they were so full of life, always had a mischievous glint in them. His hair looks like a damp, black rag. How he's changed! No longer was he that cunning man with good facial features. He always was the prettier one of the group.

He's just a has-been...a shell of an intelligent man. If you looked at him, he would stare at you but his eyes were always somewhere else...perhaps thinking of something new. I keep staring at him, then it hits me. I too am a shell of a man. I once had a purpose in life. Once, I had friends. Once, I looked like I had life in me. But now...I look like a wasted man who's seen too much, lived through too many things at once. Both of us, me and Sirius, just ghosts of the past.

Hope you liked. Questions? Comments? Flames? Critisim? Grammer is bad? Just leave a review. : )

-Candy Can3 Child


	3. Chapter 3: Omens and Rats

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make any profits from him. So put down that gun!

Auther's Note: Wow! I'm surprised at all of the reviewers. All of you made my day and a shout out to Deaner123! Hi! I'm glad you visited! And a shout out to all of the reviewers: Thank you! If you want read a whole list of thank you's and comments, go to the review page :)

So this is when Lupin is shopping for books and such. Enjoy: )

Chapter Three: Omens and Rats

I am thouroughly jittery while I stand in this book shop. It's so huge! Non-comparable to that little shack I called a bookshop ( but what a nice place filled with nice memories...). I believe the store's name is Flourish and Blotts. I've been meaning to go in here, but I just kept pushing it off. I guess I was trying to find a reason why to go here. But now I do, Dumbledore gave me the O.K to be a teacher and pick my own book to teach the students with. There are so many books in here, I barely noticed. Which is the apropiate one? Should I teach Kappas? Or perhaps how to detect Dark Wizards? No maybe that's too advanced for students. Well I really don't know. Maybe if I just search around for a while I will find the perfect book.

I walk around, looking at several books such as : _Jinxes, And How To Use Them To Your Advantage_ , or _So You Want To Grow A Magical Garden But Don't Know Where To Start?_ . I am just yearning to pick up many books that have caught my eye and just read them all day long. I walk around towards the front, where most Herbology books are placed. It's such a pleasant place, the Herbology section, near big windows to let in light and several small plants growing in delicate looking vases. There's big yellow, purple and light blue couches that look billowy like big clouds. I really want to pick up some books and spend all my time reading there. But I keep walking towards a small place with some small round tables with books piled on there. On one table, there's some parchment, probably belongs to a student who's doing last minute homework. I laugh, wow! I'll be grading that as soon as September 2nd comes by! I keep walking.

There's some students (well I can asume because the term is about to begin) talking with a worker from the store who's wearing light blue and yellow robes with a pin on his robe that says"Ask me for help on any book, any subject" then the message turns to bright red saying " Hi! I'm Nikola! I'll be happy to help you" But Nikola doesn't look so happy, in fact he looks like if he was just asked to sollow a cauldren full of acid. He leads the three students towards the front where I can hear some yelps.

I arrive at a section that is clearly devoted to fortune telling and divination. While not my main intrest, I am still drawn towards some several books in a lone bookshelf. I read the little plaque that lables what subject it is. " Omens, Bad Luck " This section of the bookstore is deserted, most people, I notice, are towards the front of the store. I look at some book titles along thier spines. There's one that catches my attention. It has a black leather binding and in big plain silver letters, _Death Omens: What to Do When You Know the Worst Is Coming_. I am drawn to it, like I must read it because it contains something so important. Automatically, I reach out towards it and dislodge it. Apperantly, it is used to hold other books up because the rest beging to tumble down. I wince, hoping I didn't cause a racket , and hold the book in my hands. I feel an odd sensation creeping from my stomach. I sit down on a wooden chair in a daze and place the book on the small rectangular table. Who else to grace the book's front cover than Sirius? A big black dog is on there, with big remorsefull hazel eyes. _Just like Sirius_, I think. Could this be a coincidence? It's been three days since I've read that article. But why now?

I open up the book. The title page has intertwining snakes in black and white ink, circuling the title. On the bottom is a small drawing of the dog. I go to the title page, again, snakes are around the page with the dog. I try to look it up in the table of contents. There's nothing. I go to the index. There, I find the pages. I go and read chapter three: Grims, What They Are, What Their Use Is, What to Do If You've Seen One. It comes as a shock that the animal Sirius transforms to is this very dog known as the Grim, a bringer of death and bad luck. What can this mean? Why is there a chapter on the Grim in this book? Why this book?

I am pulled out of my sea of thoughts by a hand.I look up, startled, there's the worker called Nikola and he seems to be angry. " Can I help you sir" He asks.

" Whatever do you mean"

" You've been here for many hours and still haven't chosen a book or something." He says. I never knew browsing was a crime. I keep thinking what I possibly done wrong, when the idea forms in my head. Of course I need him to help me! I must find a good book on Defense Against the Dark Arts. Nikola gives me an impationt look.

" I do need help. Yes. Can you help me look for a good book on Defense Against the Dark Arts" I ask. Nikola smiles, probably of relief.

" As long as it's not a _Monster Book Of Monsters_" He says. I get up, closing the book, and follow Nikola. He leads me to the upstairs section that is very cozy with big couches and pillows. _This must be the reading room or something_. There are some big bookshelves around it, there's a sign hanging above it that says: DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS; DARK ARTS. " This is the place, what exactly, are you looking for"

" I need a really good book for a Defense Against the Dark Arts class, something that covers many topics" I reply, but Nikola is already looking for books. He comes back, with at least five big books in his arms and sets them down on a table. " There, that's enough. If you don't like any, just tell me." I sit down on a couch and pull out Dumbledore's letter. He inserted some 50 galleons for my supplies. I need a good thourough book under 20 galleons. I know that's impossible, but I pick up the book on the top. I skim through it, this book covers Dark Creatures, how to attack them, curses... I fall in love with this one, and luckily, the price is only 40 sickles. Maybe that's cheep, maybe it's not. I don't know. I pick this book up and go downstairs to buy it.While I wait, I notice a cage full of books shredding each other. I catch a glimpse of the title, _The Monster Book Of Monsters_. Then Nikola apears behind the counter. " You picked this one" He asks rather unhappily.

" Yes."

" Okay. You're total is 40 sickles." He says. I pay and walk out the door, book bag in my hand. I walk past a store that's devoted to selling robes. I look down at my robes. I just realize, I'm going to Hogwarts...maybe I'll need at least one good set of robes for feasts. I go in. Imediatly a short witch comes up to me. " Hello. Are you shopping for formal robes or everyday robes" She asks.

" Um...just a nice one." I say. She nods and leads me deep into the shop. She makes me stand on a footstool and a tape measurer gets my measurements. " Okay, well I have you're measturements."She says and leads me to a section with many different fabrics of wide varietys. " What colour would you like" She asks.

" Do you have anything that's already made" I ask.

" Yes, I do. Would you like to see those instead" I nod and she leads me to another section. I browse around, choose some plain black robes with a purple maroonish lining. I pay and walk off. Then I go into a quill and parchment shop, I pick out some new quills ( 3 for 5 sickles, not a bad deal) some scarlett ink and pay. I go to the ice cream parlor and sit down. I put down all of my purchases and wait on my ice cream. I go over Dumbledore's letter, checking off every item he listed that would come in handy.

I take out the book I bought and began to read it. Several pages in the book and I decide to look up. My eyes scan the tables, like a bird searching out its prey when I spot my own prey. I stare, knowing its rude to stare, but it's exactly like staring at a reincarnation of James. But that can't be, James is dead. I keep staring at the unmistakable messed up black hair. That can't be him. _Turn around and face me, turn around so I can see if it is you._ But he doesn't. I try to go back to my book, ice cream is already melting, but I keep snatching glimpses at him. He has a Flourish and Blotts bag next to him. I keep watching. Then two people aproach him. He starts talking to them, like if they are friends. Well, they must know each other! They sit down next to him and chat for a long time. Then I notice that the boy with hair that looks as if it is on fire stands up and topples his chair down. He points at something grey and fuzzy that scurries down towards me. It stops near me, it's a large rat that is missing a finger. He looks at me as if he knows me but keeps on scurring to a store near me. The boy chases after the rat, then the girl and then the other boy, James. I see him with a big shock. He looks exactly like James! Same hair, same everything, but his eyes. His eyes are such a bright emerald green. He keeps running after his friends, not giving me a glimpse. I feel like I've just seen a ghost. And what was it...a rat? How funny for me to see representations of Sirius, James and Peter. This must mean something!

I go back to my book, still uneasy about seeing ...James. Then I don't know when exactly, the boy was Harry! I try to picture the brilliantly eyed boy, yes...he had that scar, half hidden by a lock of black hair. How could I be so stupid? Should I say something to him? Is it right to aproach him? Surely he _must_ know about Sirius...he _must_ know that he escaped..._must_ know why Sirius is such an important part of Harry...but what if he doesn't? Should I tell him? He comes out of the Magical Menegerie. The girl is holding a big ginger cat that matches with the girl's hair. She is talking to Harry. Then the boy with the flaming hair comes out, clutching the rat. The rat looks at me once more. I look at Harry. Yes, he looks so much like James. And he must be brave, after all, he is his son. I can aproach him right now. But how would he react? I don't want to alarm him or anything. I run my hand through my already graying hair. It seems like time has stood still, just enough for me to memorize Harry. He goes to Hogwarts, I realize. He must go to Hogwarts! Then I'll see him there and talk to him. But now a challenge arisis, how do I get to talk to him? How do I aproach him without looking as a wierd man who looks too old for his age?

Rather long chapter...but I like it. Sorry if the spellings all wrong. I'm using a computer with no spell check. If you feel there's anything wrong with anything I've written, just leave a review and I'll change it or maybe just leave it as it is :)

Thank you for reading...I hope I post the fourth chapter before next Sunday!

-Candy Can3 Child


	4. Chapter 4: Bound to Pack it Up

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am affiliated with Harry Potter in any way. This fan fiction is just for entertainment. You can put that gun away now.

Author's Note:

Hello. I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner. I was just really busy and I apologize to my readers. I hope this chapter is good and worth the wait…if it's not than at least I decided to continue on with this story and that means something to me (most I just give up on).

Happy reading,

III Candy Cane Child III

Ps: nor do I own the title of this chapter, the credit goes to the White Stripes

Yes…I devoted a whole chapter to Lupin packing.

Chapter Four: Bound to Pack it Up

"Harry" I begin to say, but my voice is overpowered by the overlapping voices of other people. My voice disappears into the background as well as Harry. No longer is he there with his three friends. I sigh, what if Harry _doesn't_ know the truth about Sirius? He'll have to know sooner or later. I look at the sun; it's already been an hour that I've sat at the same table. It's getting late, if I want to be packed and ready for tomorrow, and still have time to browse around some more, I should be leaving.

I get up, protectively holding on to my purchases, and walk away to the Leaky Cauldron. If Sirius has escaped, then what will happen at Hogwarts? I try not to think about it as I enter the little bar, that isn't yet full, and go up the rickety staircase. I arrive at the wooden door that guards what has been my home for a very long time. I go in and dump all of my bags on the bed, the result looks like a mountain is growing out of the mattress. Oh well, I've never been the most perfectly organized person, though I may seem like it at times. The time is now 2:30…I want to be in bed by 8 pm or so because I want to make sure I wake up early tomorrow. I look around the room that I had grown so used to. It's small, with a bed in the middle, a floor length mirror on the wall and a window that opens up to the muggle's London. It's funny how a human can get so attached to his belongings, or housing if he stays in it for more than a week, I know I'm going to be missing the room. I get my two

suitcases from under the bed and open it up. I have two suitcases, one is a worn out brown suitcase and the other one is a small one that used to be raven black, but now it looks more gray. I decide to use the brown suitcase for my clothes (as I have the least clothes a man can survive with) and the black but turned gray suitcase for my books (some donated ones that I got from the old book shop).

I go to my, or the inn owner's, chest of drawers and take out all of my robes, and stack them on what space is left on the bed. Robe by robe I stack them into the suitcase, carefully folding each one, trying not to wrinkle it. Even if they are worn, torn and patched, I still want to keep them from wrinkles. I have wrinkles myself, and I don't want to give my clothes the burden and embarrassment of wrinkles. I shouldn't have any at all, just like I shouldn't have gray thinning hair. I get my other two pairs of shoes and put them neatly next to my robes. The suitcase closes perfectly, and I put a locking charm on it so it won't open up in any circumstance. Only my "formal" robes are left outside, with the exception of the ones I'm wearing now (which I will use as pajamas…I already packed my sleeping robes)

It's already around 3:10, and I decide to have a little break. I'm so tired, this day is so incredibly stuffy that it makes anyone want to take to a bed and sleep. Sleep overcomes me and I lie on the rug that covers up a badly scratched area of the hardwood floor. Using my hand and arm as a pillow, I curl up and let sleep take over. I shut my eyelids and go into a dream world where everything is packing into a big black box. All of Diagon Alley gets vacuumed up into a big swirling vortex; the people go along as well, looking like little ants. Brick by brick, store by store, person by person until I'm the only one left. I walk around the dark place; even the sun has gone. A distant bark is heard. "Sirius?" I ask. Bark. " Where are you?"

" Here." A big black dog says.

" When are you coming to see me?" I ask.

" Soon, pretty soon."

I wake up, startled. Did I sleep for so long that the once brightly lit room has a orange glow to it? The wall clock reads 6:30 but I deny it. How can it be 6:30 pm already? I scramble to my feet and go out the door and down the stairs. My stomach is begging for a pea soup that I order from the bartender. While I wait, I notice that a couple is sitting around the bar. Not wanting to be bothered right now, I go to a dark corner, making the waiter have a hard time finding me. I eat the pea soup, wondering how life at Hogwarts, as an adult and teacher, will be. I finish and leave a tip and go up the stairs.

I finish my packing around 7:00. Wanting to look more around Diagon Alley, I decide to go out and walk around. The evening air is pleasant, cool but not cold. I enter into Flourish and Blotts once more and buy more quills and parchment, than I head to the ice cream parlor to buy a big helping of vanilla mint chocolate ice cream, which reminds me, I want some more chocolate. I go into the ice cream store, which luckily serves as a chocolate shop as well, and buy a lot of chocolate from Honeydukes.

Finally, my curfew comes up and I head back to The Leaky Cauldron, knowing that this is the last time I will be able to be around here for a whole year. For the fifth time I go up the stair case and into my dark room. I light the oil lamps and open up the gray suitcase and put in my newly bought supplies (chocolate can come in handy). I take the suitcases near the door, lock it and go into my bed, knowing that this is the last time I will sleep in this place I've come to call home.

Bad? A filler chapter? Want more? A comment? A question? Feel welcome to leave a review with any concerns!

Thank you,

Candy Cane Child


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